"If I'm Ever in a Coma, Braid My Hair" by Erin Mawhinney
What does it mean to care for someone when you can no longer cure them?
When Erin Mawhinney transferred to the intensive care unit at twenty-two years old, she expected to learn how to save lives. Instead, she found herself learning about grief, burnout, resilience, and the acts of dignity that remain when medicine reaches its limits.
Only months into her career in critical care, the COVID-19 pandemic transformed her Hamilton, Ontario ICU. Families disappeared behind visitor restrictions. Patients were isolated behind layers of protective equipment and closed doors. As the crisis deepened, nursing became as much about preserving humanity as preserving life.
In If I’m Ever in a Coma, Braid My Hair, Mawhinney offers an intimate, unflinching account of life on the front lines. Through stories of heartbreak, dark humour, impossible decisions, and extraordinary compassion, she explores the emotional cost of caring for others while trying not to lose herself in the process.
More than a memoir of the pandemic, this is a book about witnessing suffering, living alongside grief, questioning the systems we work within, and discovering that sometimes the subtle acts of care - a hand held, a favourite song played, a braid tied before goodbye - matter the most.
Perfect for readers of medical memoir, frontline stories, and emotionally honest nonfiction, If I’m Ever in a Coma, Braid My Hair is for healthcare workers, patients and families, and anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the people who stand beside us in life’s most vulnerable moments.
